


the 101 ways i lost my arm - an ode by bucky barnes

by CaptainJimothyCarter



Category: Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Adorable, Bucky Barnes Feels, Clint Barton Feels, Clint Barton is adorable, Deaf Clint Barton, Engagement, Fluff, Joke Fic, M/M, Metal Arm Bucky, Small Carnie past mention, Winter Soldier Bucky, deaf!clint barton, he lost it, one fluff bullshit fic, winterhawk - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21754657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJimothyCarter/pseuds/CaptainJimothyCarter
Summary: “I paid five dollars for that drink and I am gonna get my worth! Now you owe me a new coffee.” Bucky pouted, arms crossed over his chest. The brunette blinked when a kid stepped into his line of vision. This pipsqueak little girl with her hair done into elegant, curled pigtails. She was adorable, cute as a button with missing front teeth. Yet before she opened her mouth, Bucky knew what she was going to ask.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Comments: 10
Kudos: 120





	the 101 ways i lost my arm - an ode by bucky barnes

Bucky’s straw, in his sugar overload iced coffee did that annoying thing straws do when you’re close to the end of your beverage. He could see Clint’s annoyed look at the end of the couch. Bucky’s feet were thrown up in his lap, the pair sharing a blanket that could cover two Hulks. A good investment on Clint’s part. Too bad they were stuck in this charming family owned coffee shop until Natasha got here with their ride. “What, Barton?” He rattled the drink in the man’s face with a grin. “What’s that look for?”   
  
“Nothing. Besides the fact that you’ve been trying to get less than a teaspoon of coffee for the last fifteen minutes. Makes me wish I was deaf again.” Clint grumbled, slapping the drink out of Bucky’s metal hand. They both watch it fall to the carpeted floor, neither one moving to get it.    
  
“I paid five dollars for that drink and I am gonna get my worth! Now you owe me a new coffee.” Bucky pouted, arms crossed over his chest. The brunette blinked when a kid stepped into his line of vision. This pipsqueak little girl with her auburn hair done into elegant, curled pigtails. She was adorable, cute as a button with missing front teeth. Yet before she opened her mouth, Bucky knew what she was going to ask.    
  
“Mister Winter Soldier - “ The way she spoke was in a soft whisper, her rs slurring into w’s from her missing front teeth. She held a white teddy bear to her chest, rocking back and forth on her pretty, sparkly pink shoes. “I-I was just...just wondering...how’d you lose that arm? Why is it all shiny? Are you part robot?”    
  
Bucky looked down at his silver arm, watching the plates whirl as he sat up fully. His head tilted to the side, a few strands of his hair falling into his face as he did so. His tongue clicked on the roof of his mouth as he turned the question over in his head. Not the first he’d been asked nor the last. Kids were curious and they were a hell of a lot more suitableness to bullshit answers than adults were. Adults wanted the brutal, horrific truth. Kids were happy with whatever fib spilled from his lips.   
  
Without missing a beat, the fib came tumbling out, “The monster under my bed took it while I was looking for my socks.”   
  
The girl’s eyes nearly popped out of her face, holding her teddy close to her chest. Her mouth opened and she shook her head, pulling the bear up to cover her lower face. “Did it  _ really?  _ My big brother says that monsters aren’t real!”   
  
Bucky laughed despite himself, throwing his head back and smiling from ear to ear. He laughed with his full chest, in a manner that made Clint smile. “They really are real, kiddo. But Hawkeye and I here, we make sure that those big baddies don’t ever touch you.” He poked the little girl’s nose, causing her to burst into a fit of giggles.    
  
“Thank you Mister Hawkeye sir and Mister Winter Soldier! I gotta go! My big brother is taking me ice skating!” The little girl ran off to her waiting brother, giving the two men, gigantic, overestimating waves until they were around the corner.    
  
Clint lasted until they were out the door, before bursting into a fit of laughter. “ _ James _ , you’ve got to start being honest. Or at least don’t tell kids stuff that can give them nightmares.”   
  
Bucky waved his hand and rolling his eyes as he collapsed back onto the sturdy couch. “Not my fault. Its more fun to lie to them, besides they don’t need to know the truth.” He slung the metal arm in question around Clint’s shoulder and pressed a sloppy kiss to his scruffy cheek. “Add that one to the list, will ya? Don’t wanna use it again.”   
  
Clint dug through his knapsack and pulled out an old leather-bound journal, flipping through several pages until he reached his last place. “Welp, that officially makes a hundred and two excuses. Anymore we wanna add?”   
  
Bucky snatched the book from Clint’s hands with a grin, flickering through the thick pages. “Did you ever name this thing? Or are we still calling it Bucky’s list of bullshit excuses?”   
  
“ _ Heyyy _ didn’t your ma tell you not to steal, jerk?” Clint grumbled, watching Bucky steal the pen from his hand and jot something down in his impossible tiny script. Seriously, how do you live to be over a hundred years old and have shitty handwriting? “I was considering calling it the 101 ways I lost my arm - Ode by Bucky Barnes.”   
  
The book was tossed back into Clint's grubby hands, a smirk twitched onto those full, luscious lips. Oh, how Clint wanted to kiss them. And he did, leaning up to kiss the man’s lips before pulling away with a grin on his own lips. “Hm,” Bucky hummed. “She tried to, but you see growing up in the 20’s, it was either steal or go hungry. And Jamie like food.” He gently tapped Clint’s button nose with the last statement, chuckling. “I like that. Go over the list with me. I don’t want to use the same excuse twice here.”   
  
“Bossy, bossy. You get  _ one  _ kiss from me and suddenly you’re the boss?” Clint scoffed, settling back into the touch. His nose wrinkled as he flicked the pages back to the first one. “Alright, alright, settle in, Jamey-bear. Story time.”   
  
_ The 101 ways i lost my arm - an ode by bucky barnes: _

  1. Cursed by a witch
  2. Wanted to lose a quick ten pounds
  3. He was hungry
  4. Steve was hungry
  5. The Hulk was hungry [and you don’t say no to the hulk]
  6. His pet wolf was hungry
  7. The Howlies had a bet and he lost it
  8. Howard Stark needed to borrow a wrench
  9. He didn’t like how it looked in the morning
  10. Something was off about it
  11. It turned evil and betrayed him
  12. He wanted to know what it would be like to be right handed
  13. Cursed by a wizard
  14. Alpine ate it when he forgot to feed her at 4 o’clock
  15. It was ran over by a jeep
  16. The hydra intern taking care of him got bored one night
  17. Fisting accident [don’t do it, fellas]
  18. He was _really_ horny
  19. He needed a fleshlight
  20. Black hole
  21. He wanted to match Coulson
  22. Lost it in another bet involving Peggy, Steve, and a bottle of rum
  23. Peggy gave him _that_ look and it severed his arm [he deserved it]
  24. He got too into a game of Frisbee with Steve’s shield
  25. He threw the shield and forgot to let go
  26. Clint needed an arrow stat and whatcha going to do?
  27. Thor thought it was his hammer
  28. Bruce needed it for an experiment and Bucky didn’t want to sit around
  29. He needed a flotation device
  30. Natasha. Just Natasha
  31. He made a trade for Fury’s eye. Not a good trade
  32. He decided to make a sacrifice to a God
  33. He fell from a train
  34. He needed a tissue 
  35. No toilet paper
  36. It didn’t match his outfit
  37. Wrestling a bear
  38. Wrestling Alpine
  39. He got bored at the zoo
  40. Extreme frostbite
  41. It was itchy
  42. Wanted to fit into a dress
  43. Needed to fit into a compact car
  44. Aliens took it
  45. A shark ate it
  46. Hydra decided he just _had_ to lose his left arm for y’know, winter soldier purposes
  47. Crushed by a space whale
  48. Deadpool needed a prop
  49. Fairies took it as an offering
  50. Fairies took it because he ate their food
  51. Got too into his barbarian role in D&D
  52. Vampires
  53. He was allergic to it
  54. Bitten by a zombie and had to stop the infection
  55. Played hot potato with a grenade
  56. Stuck his fingers into a gun and it blew up
  57. Christmas Tree Attack of 2019
  58. Lost it in a snowboarding accident
  59. The trees ate it
  60. He was late for a date with Clint
  61. Late for a date with Natasha
  62. Definitely late for a date with Steve [look he’s not good with time here]
  63. Yo-Yo accident
  64. A squirrel took it
  65. Fought Trump
  66. Punched Hitler
  67. Punched a tank
  68. Lost it while playing Wii Sports
  69. Dum-Dum needed it to comb that majestic mustache
  70. Rubber Duckie
  71. Clint needed it to make coffee
  72. Lucky ate it
  73. Kate needed to annoy Clint
  74. It makes a good poking stick
  75. Steve needed a nightlight
  76. Clint lost his teddy bear
  77. The alley dogs looked hungry
  78. He sold it to pay for a haircut
  79. He sold it to pay for some little kids’ surgery
  80. Sold it to go to Disney
  81. Valentines Day 2019 Incident
  82. Black Friday
  83. A veteran needed it more than he did
  84. He wanted to have a gun arm
  85. A sword arm was more practical
  86. Firework accident
  87. They needed a stick for fondue night
  88. Fury needed a backscratcher
  89. Dog wanted a chew toy
  90. Alpine thought it was a scratching post
  91. A mannequin needed it
  92. His father cut it off with a lightsaber
  93. Sold it for coffee
  94. Baby Yoda needed it and Bucky was not going to say no
  95. Star Trek reenactment accident
  96. Rocket finally bought it from him
  97. Someone asked for a hand
  98. Sold it for a slice of pizza
  99. Wanted to see if it makes a good boomerang. It did not.
  100. They forgot the turkey for Thanksgiving
  101. He sold it to buy an engagement ring for Clint



_ “He sold it to buy…” _ Clint’s voice trailed off after having read the last sentence before looking up at the man again.  _ “He sold it to buy an engagement ring for Clint?  _ When did you use that excuse?”   
  
“Oh, darling, it's not an excuse.” Bucky popped up from his seat and dug into his pockets. He pulled out a velvet ring box and slowly dropped down to his knee. A hush fell over the small coffee shop, every eye on them. “Clint, I don’t know what to say. I prepared this speech for three days and still can’t think of the right things to say. All I know is that I love you. I didn’t so much loved you when you fell from that four story building and landed on me. Or when you stole my coffee that night. But I started to find the charm in your beautiful blue-eyed, carnie self. You’ve changed my life in the best way possible and I hope that I can continue to change your life for the better.”   
  
Clint can list on one hand the number of people who’d seen him cry. Starting with Barney and ending with Natasha. And now, Bucky would be the third one. Because right now, Clint was letting out the water works, feeling his throat tighten up. “To be fair, I was pushed out of that fourth story window. Kingpin sorta hoped he would have killed me by doing that. He should’ve known that Clint Barton always gets lucky.” He threw up a big, cheesy smile despite the tears streaming down his face and his thumb pointing to his chest. “And James, Bucky...I am  _ so  _ lucky to have fallen into your life, you’ve changed me for better ways. How can I say no?”    
  
“You physically can’t. It’s in your physically binding to me,” Bucky teased, giving a shit eating grin. Slipping the ring onto Clint’s finger, the brunette pulled Clint into his arms and gave him one of the sloppiest, guilty pleasures kisses that he could muster.   
  
The clapping and cheers of celebration fell onto deaf ears as the pair kisses, Clint being the one to pull away and gently put their forehead together like an affectionate kitten. “Just one quick question - why this coffee shop?”   
  
Bucky had pulled the man close, one arm wrapped around the man’s waist to hold him close as possible to his chest. He looked around the small, family owned coffee shop that was full of people still smiling at newly engaged pair. This small coffee shop with the beautiful art work on the wall from the Brooklyn College, down to the three generation family owned charm. “Oh, that’s easy,” he chuckled. “Because it’s one of the only places that serve your god awful disgusting chocolate milk.” 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is dedicated to my love of winterhawk and the pain pills that kept me doped up after my surgery.


End file.
